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Welcome to Skills For Youth! The
social skill highlighted this month is:
Refusal
Skills
Description
of the Skill
The
purpose of refusal skills is to give youth the ability to say NO to unwanted
sexual advances or risky situations. There are several essential components
to an effective refusal or NO statement. Youth need to understand the components
that make up an effective NO before they observe or practice the skills.
Here are the four essential components of an effective NO:
- Use the word NO. There is no substitute. Everyone understands
the meaning of the word NO.
Effective use: "NO, you can't copy my homework." (direct
NO)
Ineffective use: "I don't know. You really shouldn't copy
homework." (weak NO)
- Give a strong nonverbal NO message. There are many body movements
that can support a verbal NO message. For example:
Hands off gesture: Use hand or arm movements for emphasis.
Stiff body: Sit or stand stiffly. Stomp away from the
other person if you have to.
Serious expression: Use an "I mean it" face.
Other body movements: Cross arms and legs for emphasis.
Fight back: If all else fails, push the person away and
protect yourself.
Effective use: Arms crossed or hand on hips while saying, "NO,
you can't copy my homework."
Ineffective use: Slouching and handing over homework while saying,
"You really shouldn't copy my homework, but you can look at it."
- Use a firm tone of voice to support the NO message. The way
you say something often gives a stronger message that the words you
use.
Effective use: Use a firm voice while saying, "NO, you can't
copy my homework."
Ineffective use: Use an unconvincing voice while saying, "I
don't know; you really shouldn't copy my homework."
- Repeat the NO message as much as needed. Eventually, the person
will get the message or give up.
Effective use: I told you once already, "NO, you can't copy
my homework."
Ineffective use: Failing to repeat the message.
- Source:
Safer Choices, ETR Associates, Santa Cruz, CA, 1998.1
Demonstration of
the Skill
Before
youth can effectively practice the Refusal Skill, they need to see each
of the components of the skill modeled or demonstrated. Here are some suggestions
for modeling the skill. Remember young people need to see many positive
examples, not just poor examples of the skill.
- Review each of the components of the refusal skill as it is described
above. Ask for volunteers to state and act out examples of an effective
and ineffective use of each component.
- Use a video that demonstrates the refusal skill. Then have students
describe how the skill was used and what made it effective. A checklist
of components is helpful here.
- Using a scripted role play, demonstrate the refusal skill with a volunteer
from the class or group. Be sure that the role play models each of the
four components of a Refusal listed above. Have youth evaluate what
they saw and what made the NO effective. Ask them to identify each of
the four components. Scripted role plays can be developed by youth or
found in already published curricula.
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Behavioral Practice
of the Skill
Once
youth have seen the Refusal Skill modeled several times, they are ready
for individual behavioral practice. Here are a few suggestions for behavioral
practice.
- In pairs or small groups of three or four, use scripted role plays
to conduct behavioral practice. Youth can make up the role plays or
the educator can use ones found in already published curriculum like
those described in the Programs That
Work section. For more information about behavioral practice in
small groups, see the Educator Skill "Role Play
for Behavioral Practice."
- If the group is small, approach each youth with a different refusal
situation and have them practice their refusalin front of the whole
group. The group can give each youth feedback on how effectively they
used the four components of the Refusal.
- Give youth a homework assignment, asking them to keep a record for
several days of when they say no to different situations in their lives.
They should write down notes about the situation and what parts of the
Refusal Skill they used and whether the NO was effective or not. Discuss
the homework with the group reinforcing their successes and helping
them improve their Refusal when it didn't work. NOTE: Be sensitive to
youth's confidentiality, allowing individuals to pass if they aren't
comfortable sharing.
- Remember, it is hard to get too much practice when learning a new
skill. Some people think it takes about 29 times before a behavior becomes
automatic. It is also important to practice in many contexts, especially
at home in real life.
Tips
To
maximize your effectiveness in teaching the Refusal Skill, we suggest you:
Circulate among the pairs or small groups and coach individuals as
they practice, giving them tips for how to use the four components of
the Refusal Skill.
Have youth use a checklist that outlines the four components so they
can gently coach each other as they practice. (See Sample
Observer Checklist.) 
Start with scripted role plays for practice so youth get used to using
the words and non-verbal messages. As youth become comfortable, have
them practice without scripts.
Debrief after each practice session identifying what went well and
provide coaching around the stumbling blocks or barriers.
Connect the role plays to real life by making sure the situations
and language used are relevant and realistic. Ask youth for feedback
and make adjustments accordingly. The more they participate, the more
they will learn and be able to apply the skill.
Follow-up with the lesson several times over the next few months asking
youth how they are using the Refusal Skill, what is working and what
needs more practice. Provide additional practice as is necessary.
Note: Links
on this page with the Portable Document Format icon require
Adobe Acrobat Reader to view and print them. You can download this free
software at:
www.adobe.com/prodindex/acrobat/readstep.html.
1
Funded by the CDC's Division of Adolescent and School Health, Safer Choices
is an HIV, STD and pregnancy prevention curriculum for students in 9th and
10th grades. The curriculum is one part of a larger, multi-component school-based
HIV intervention found in a rigorous evaluation to be effective in reducing
sexual risk-taking behavior (Coyle, Basen-Engquist, Kirby, etal., under
review),
The Safer Choices program is available from ETR
Associates (1-800-321-4407). For more information about the program,
contact Karin Coyle, Director of Research,
at (831) 438-4060, ext. 140.
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