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Welcome to Skills for Educators! ReCAPP's educator skill for February
2002 is:
Partnering
with Communities of Faith to Discuss Sexuality Issues
by
Maggi Ruth Boyer
This article
is divided into the following sections:
| Why Work
with Communities of Faith |
For many
people, there is a strong and profound connection between faith beliefs
and beliefs about sexuality. Many people yearn to talk about these connections
in a faith context. Yet, all too often, discussions about sexuality do
not take place in faith communities because the conversations are viewed
as too controversial, no one on the clergy team feels qualified to facilitate,
and/or there is concern that such discussions will be divisive or embarrassing.
Many congregation
members and leaders would welcome the opportunity to explore the connections
between faith and sexuality in a way that allows people of good will,
good heart, and good faith to:
- differ and raise questions,
- recognize confusion and internal conflict,
- learn accurate information together, and
- celebrate the profound connection of "body and soul."
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| Why Form Partnerships
with Communities of Faith |
It
is helpful to examine your own motivations as a sexuality educator for
working with communities of faith. For some, it is a natural extension
of personal beliefs about the connections between sexuality and faith.
For others, it is a way of developing credibility with a powerful group
of people who can generate community support for comprehensive sexuality
education, or prevention of adolescent pregnancy, HIV and other sexually
transmitted infections (STIs). And for others, it is a way to reach a
group of people with medically accurate information who might not be reached
in other venues.
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Obviously,
not all faith communities welcome conversations about sexuality. Some
congregations are aligned with a fundamental viewpoint about sexuality
which is antithetical to open discussion.
To find
communities of faith that may be open to sexuality education efforts:
- Look for congregations that have denominational statements supportive
of a positive link between sexuality and faith. You can find denominational
statements on the internet; use a search engine to locate the denomination's
site and search on the site.
- Look for clergy who participate on boards of non-profit organizations
allied with women's rights, or other social justice issues, such as
affordable housing, peace and justice activities, etc.
- If there are associations of clergy of different faiths and denominations
that meet regularly in your area, ask to be invited to those meetings
to discuss what programs you could offer. Sometimes these associations
are called "interfaith alliances" or "ministerial forums."
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| How
to Build a Partnership |
Once you
have identified a congregation with which you'd like to work, recognize
how important it is to build a partnership with the clergy leadership,
governing board, and/or significant adults in that community. Below is
a list of suggested steps that can help to build that partnership:
- Set up an appointment to speak with clergy/leaders.
- Clarify what kinds of sexuality education assistance the clergy/leader
would like to have (i.e., educational sessions, written materials, guest
speakers at services, article for weekly bulletin, etc.) and with what
populations (i.e., youth, parents, clergy). This information might be
obtained through a preliminary phone call or short written questionnaire.
- Clarify what outcomes clergy/leaders are hoping for and what the success
measures should be.
- Clarify roles and responsibilities. Who will handle logistics? Who
will recruit participants? Does the clergy/leader want to review educational
materials and/or lesson plans before each session?
- Identify potential "land mines" that concern you and the clergy/leader.
What topics will likely stir controversy? How can you handle the typically
controversial issues in a respectful and truthful way? Discuss what
you will do to handle controversy should it become intense or counterproductive.
What guidelines for discussion can you establish so people feel safe
during the sessions?
- Invite the clergy/leader to participate in the session. Stress that
you are not the "subject matter expert" on theology or matters of faith.
Even if you are ordained, or a seminary graduate, the clergy/leader
is still the "expert" on this particular congregation. Will s/he offer
an opening meditation or prayer? Can s/he speak for a few moments about
the reasons for developing these sessions? Might s/he be willing to
present the denominational statements on sexuality?
- Establish a time for a discussion following each session so you and
the clergy/leader can discuss concerns and share your responses to the
process.
- Know ahead of time what compromises you will and will not be willing
to make in order to work with a congregation. For instance, would you
be willing not to talk about abortion during the session if you could
speak individually with people after the session? Would you be willing
to deliver information about sexual health to a youth group if you were
asked not to talk about issues of sexual orientation?
- Do not hesitate to gracefully decline to work together if the clergy/leader
insists on approaches that you believe are unhelpful, untruthful, inaccurate,
hurtful, or biased.
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- It is always wise to speak with the senior leader of the congregation,
even if you will not be working directly with that person. You will
want to know your efforts have his/her support. You will also want to
be sure that s/he understands exactly what is being proposed.
- Working with parents of young children is often a successful entrée
to working with a congregation. Assisting parents to become more confident
in their role as primary sexuality educators for their children can
be a simple and positive "first encounter" for you with a congregation.
- If you are asked to work with a youth group, it may serve you well
to ask to meet with parents first to help them understand what
you will be doing and to give them a chance to ask questions. This will
also give you a chance to build credibility with them. See this month's
Learning Activity for a
workshop idea to use with parents.
- Often, you will be invited to give a presentation during "adult school"
usually scheduled between or before worship services. These sessions
are typically quite brief 45 minutes to an hour. Be sure that
you clarify what can realistically be accomplished during this time.
Recognize the session as an opportunity to begin building a connection
with the adults of the congregation.
- Learn about what referrals to make should the discussion of sexuality
issues raise concerns for participants about what they have been taught
to believe and what their life experience is, or has, taught them. Is
the clergy person of the congregation qualified to handle such concerns?
How do you know? What other referrals might you want to have ready for
issues related to sexually transmitted infections, adoption, family
planning, pre-natal care, family counseling, sexual abuse, etc.
- As you gain experience conducting sexuality sessions with faith communities,
build a set of references to clergy that you can share with new contacts
or congregations.
- Remember, although the setting for this type of sexuality education
may be different, or even a bit foreign, all the groundrules and guidelines
about providing a safe and productive learning environment still apply.
In your efforts to make these sessions helpful and safe learning experiences,
remember that accurate information is important.
- And finally, in faith communities, where value and meaning are intrinsic
to the conversation, it may be especially helpful to notice the patterns
of communication (i.e., who is talking, who is not), the tone of voice
people use, the non-verbal cues, etc. In other words, pay attention
to process!
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About
the Author
Maggi
Boyer has been working in the field of sexuality education for more
than 30 years and has frequently worked with faith communities.
For ten years she taught in the Graduate Training Program for Clergy
at the Penn Council for Relationships, Univ. of PA. In October,
2001, Maggi was honored with the Mary Lee Tatum award, presented
annually by the Association of Planned Parenthood Leaders in Education.
Maggi is a member of the the Board of Directors of Planned Parenthood
of Bucks County, co-chairs the affiliate's Global Partners Committee
and volunteers in the affiliate's medical office and as a professional
trainer. She is a member of the Board of Directors of the Sexuality
Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS).
She can be reached at: mrpb@prodigy.net
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