Welcome to
Skills for Educators!
This edition
of Skills for Educators will give health educators guidelines for dealing
with youth who disclose that they have been sexually abused.
Guidelines
for Handling
Disclosures of Child Sexual Abuse
When educating
young people about family life and sexuality, educators need to be sensitive
to the fact that one or more youth in their group is or has been a victim
of child sexual abuse. Youth who have been victims of sexual abuse will
hear discussions about sexuality differently than other teens. For them,
sex may not have been a pleasurable event, and negotiating the use of
protection is almost always impossible.
Occasionally,
open discussions of sexuality may lead to a youth making a disclosure
about abuse to the educator or to the class. Because many of us are uncomfortable
with the thought of a young person telling us that he or she has been
abused, it's helpful to have some guidelines for handling this situation
before it occurs. There are four critical elements to handling a disclosure
effectively. They are:
Doing
Your Homework
Handling the Disclosure in Class
Following Up after the Disclosure
Handling the Concern that a Student has Lied
about Abuse
Doing Your Homework
You can
do several things ahead of time to prepare yourself for a disclosure,
including:
- Know
what child sexual abuse is and how frequently it happens. (See May
2000 Topic in Brief for a general definition of child sexual abuse.)
- Know
your state laws and school/agency policies about reporting child sexual
abuse.
- Know
who you need to consult in your school/agency if a youth makes a disclosure
(e.g., school nurse, principal, or school counselor). Your district/agency
policies may clearly define who that person needs to be.
- Know
the local Child Protective Services' phone number so you can report
the abuse, and keep the number in a place that's easily accessible.
- Familiarize
yourself with the reporting form and time requirements so that you
know the essential information you will need to make a report (e.g.
youth's name, address, phone number, nature of the incident, etc.)
- If
you have been a victim of child sexual abuse, you may want to think
about how that experience might effect the way you might handle a
disclosure. If you feel that it will bring up feelings that may reduce
your capacity to deal effectively with the youth, it will be important
to have identified someone to provide support to both you and the
youth.
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Handling the Disclosure in Class
The concern
that a young person may disclose abuse during class is a common one.
Keep in mind that usually when a youth discloses in front of the class,
it's about an abuse that has already been reported and resolved. Being
able to talk about it would typically indicate that some time has passed
and some healing has occurred.
Even if the abuse appears to be a current problem, resume the lesson
after acknowledging the comment and if possible, relating it to the
lesson. Saying something like, "I'm really sorry that happened
to you, and I would be happy to talk more with you about it after class
if you like" affirms the youth and lets you move forward with the
discussion.
After
class, talk with the disclosing youth privately. Try to find out more
about the abuse. Is the youth currently being abused? Is the abuse ongoing?
Remember that the abuse does not have to be proven to report it. Most
importantly:
- Demonstrate that you believe what the student has shared.
- Reassure him/her that you will assist in getting help.
- Emphasize that the problem is not the fault of the youth.
- Affirm the youth for telling you.
- Don't promise to keep it a secret; instead explain why you have
to report it and to whom.
- Promise that you will tell only those people you are required to
tell and no one else.
If a youth
feels comfortable enough to share with the class or group about the abuse,
he/she will rarely break down or become disruptive during the lesson.
However, if a youth does express feelings in a way that seems disruptive
or distressful to the rest of the group, you should seek out the additional
help you identified when you did your "homework."
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Following
Up after the Disclosure
It's important
to make sure a youth gets support after the disclosure. Some important
tips to remember are:
- You are
not the youth's therapist. After sensitively handling the initial disclosure,
involve professionals such as school social workers, private therapists
or agency counselors. Trust their expertise and cooperate in every way
possible.
- Provide
as normal and supportive an environment as you can in the classroom
or group. In other words, interact with the youth as you normally would
while communicating your empathy and support when it's appropriate.
The school or youth group may be the only safe place for the victim,
particularly in the case of incest.
- Be ready
to listen, but don't pry. Recognize and reinforce the youth's sense
of self worth with praise, and create opportunities for success both
socially and academically.
- You need
not avoid touching the youth, but ask for permission first. It's important
for the young person to know that not all touch is bad and, in this
case, you are expressing warmth and support.
- Recognize
and honor the fact that the youth trusted you enough to tell you. This
is a tremendous step for him or her on the path to protection and healing.
Many children never tell.
- Take
care of yourself. You may have strong feelings of empathy or sympathy
for the youth, or you may feel a lot of anger for the abuser, or it
may bring up feelings about uncomfortable experiences from your past.
Therefore, it's important to get support for yourself. Without compromising
the confidentiality of the youth or the situation, you may need to talk
to someone about the feelings the disclosure elicited for you. Take
the time to seek out someone who can listen and support you. If necessary,
call a rape relief agency in your area. They have been trained to provide
the kind of support you may be looking for.
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Handling the Concern
that a Student has Lied about Abuse
Our society
still holds many myths about child sexual abuse, one of which is that
youth often lie about it. If you have this concern or others around you
voice their doubts about a disclosure, remember:
- Few young
people lie about sexual abuse. Sexual assault is embarrassing to talk
about, and kids are apt to fear being blamed or doubted. If a young
person needs attention or wants to get back at someone, he/she usually
finds easier ways to do it.
- Misrepresentation
is more likely to take the form of not telling parts of the story, downplaying
or distancing the situation (i.e., "It only happened once." "It happened
to this friend of mine.")
If, on rare
occasions, a youth does lie about sexual abuse, ask more questions about
what is going on in his/her life. This young person needs special help
and attention and spending time talking with him/her may help you better
understand what he/she needs.
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